I’ve been a bit stressed out this week as I’ve got so much to do in the next 2 weeks, I’m worried I’ll mess something up, forget something, do it wrong or not have enough time and energy to get through it all. In reality I know it will probably be fine but it’s safe to say there’s a lot swimming around my head at the moment!
When my head gets busy and stressed like this, it’s really easy to worry about things that I don’t usually, such as whether I’m doing a good job for my clients or whether I can do it at all! I’ve been running again but it’s going slowly and I’m finding it more difficult a the moment. To be fair, I’ve put a fair amount of weight on since I started so it’s a bit harder dragging more of me around lol.
I’ve been worried a lot about things I’m in the middle of at the moment which makes it difficult to sleep properly or put my full focus into anything because there’s always another thing to worry about (yeah, thanks brain).
I did have a conversation the other day that changed my view slightly about things. We were talking about small steps and perseverance when trying out new things. It’s something I talk about a LOT as I know it works and I’ve proved it time and again.
I started learning German in July last year using the Duolingo app on my phone. I’d been meaning to for a while but hadn’t really got round to it before. I’ve been to Germany a few times but the only phrases I knew were “I love you” and “you’re an arsehole”. Possibly useful for a brief romantic encounter but not that great when ordering dinner! I could also count from 1-9 and knew what 20 was (really, I’ve got no idea how I just remember these strange things). I’d never learnt at school and had just picked up the odd thing.
I love Germany and the last time I went I was alone and I felt really out of my depth. I was used to Latin languages that I could guess my way through because I’d learnt French and a bit of Spanish. But I had no idea with German so I spent a lot of time on Google translate. So I decided to learn some before I went back again.
Anyway, I’ve been learning since July and sometimes I skip some days, sometimes I spend about 5 minutes on it and sometimes I spend an hour or more on it. I’ve got a spreadsheet with tabs for different part and I really enjoy it. I’ve learnt so much and if you're happy conversing in present tense only, I'm your woman. It's a start and I know so much more than I did this time last year. I can put a sentence together and I know some food and drinks (and I’ve filled in the gaps between 9 and 20!).
The point is that I know perseverance takes you a long way, even if it feels like you’re going backwards sometimes. So I guess I’m having a word with myself that feels a bit stuck doing the same week on the couch to 5k app that I just need to keep practicing. I’ll get there and losing weight will help, but keeping on going out there will help more.
So back to my hectic week – I’ve got a weekend away coaching students, I’m renting my house out and moving out next Tuesday so I guess it’s just getting the packing done a bit at a time. It will get done but leaving it until Monday is probably a shit idea so I’m buckling down to that in the hope it will take my mind of the other crap!