One of the things that I’d like to inspire in women is to have more confidence in themselves. Time and again I see the women around me holding themselves back and not trying new things because of fear. And don’t get me wrong, I’ve been there and there are still things that inspire enough fear in me that I put them off or haven’t started them yet.
But what I’ve learned is that if you don’t try, you’ll never find out what the outcome would have been. Living with regret is not good and one of my favourite sayings is that it’s better to regret something you have done, than something you haven’t. I learned that trying is the key to confidence through trial and error, through talking to people and from learning new things.
There are some things you try that you learn not to do again. Like the time I put washing up liquid in a dishwasher. I had a voice in my head telling me that it probably wasn’t a great idea and as it was in a time before the Internet, I couldn’t google it to find out what the results would be. Well, the results of putting one drop (one drop!!) of Fairy liquid into a dishwasher was like the cartoon picture of soap suds coming out of the sides, top and bottom. It wasn’t easy to clean up either! But now, I’m confident when I say to people, do NOT put washing up liquid in a dishwasher.
There are some things that you try and realise that this is for you. When I went on my introduction to the coaching course I did, I went assuming that I’d still be feeling undecided and unhappy about what I was going to do with my life at the end of the day. I almost didn’t go. I’d spent years feeling unsatisfied with my job and another 18 months or so wondering what on earth I could possibly do instead so why would that change in a few hours? I think you can work out whether that was a good thing for me 😂.
Giving yourself a push to do something new is always worth a try. You either learn something from it (not to put washing up liquid in a dishwasher) or you grow. In my case, I learned a whole new set of skills and decided to set up my own business! I decided that it was time to move on and do this full time (very scary) and even when times aren’t great, I still don’t regret leaving my job.
A lot of people think that confidence is the ability to go striding into a room without giving a crap what anyone in there thinks of you. Or talking in front of thousands of people without raising a sweat.
Whatever you think it is, it probably isn’t. I’ve found that confidence is quiet. It is that calm voice in the back of your head that tells you that, yes, this is bloody scary but reminds you that it will be worth it. For me, it’s the voice that encourages me to go for it even though I’m fearful. It reminds me that if I don’t do it, no-one else will do it for me and how wonderful will it be when I achieve my next goal by doing it myself.
And those people that go striding into rooms without a care, probably do care a lot but are putting on a front because they feel like they’re the least confident person there. But at least they’re doing it 😊